When the same old miserable patterns dog us repeatedly. How to make sense of it? How to hit the refresh button and actually release ourselves from re-living our past mistakes over and over again?
And when those hidden patterns are firmly in our blindspot, it can seem like an unsolvable mystery. But it never is. Today we talk about following those patterns back to their root, and finding ways to refresh and reset in the midst of this crazy life.
Talk about finding moments of respite, which are all too few in this modern life, but which we so sorely need and so definitely deserve.
Discover more about Maia and her work at MaiaWilde.com
Maia's mechanisms for self-realization at MaiaWilde.Thinkific.com
Orig. Aired On WIOX 91.3 FM
Note: The point of views of guests on this podcast are not always the view of the podcaster. And the podcaster is only expressing her own opinions. This is the disclaimer portion where we remind listeners to do their own due diligence, and that Maia is not a doctor or therapist and that you are a responsible adult, who is capable of knowing when to stop listening and when to seek professional support and help.
When the same old miserable patterns dog us repeatedly. How to make sense of it? How to hit the refresh button and actually release ourselves from re-living our past mistakes over and over again?
And when those hidden patterns are firmly in our blindspot, it can seem like an unsolvable mystery. But it never is. Today we talk about following those patterns back to their root, and finding ways to refresh and reset in the midst of this crazy life.
Talk about finding moments of respite, which are all too few in this modern life, but which we so sorely need and so definitely deserve.
Discover more about Maia and her work at MaiaWilde.com
Maia's mechanisms for self-realization at MaiaWilde.Thinkific.com
Orig. Aired On WIOX 91.3 FM
Note: The point of views of guests on this podcast are not always the view of the podcaster. And the podcaster is only expressing her own opinions. This is the disclaimer portion where we remind listeners to do their own due diligence, and that Maia is not a doctor or therapist and that you are a responsible adult, who is capable of knowing when to stop listening and when to seek professional support and help.
This is Dirt Road Less Travelled, where we talk about life with a capital L and take on the big questions such as Who am I really? And why are we even here? I believe we're here to express the hell out of our true selves freely and unapologetically. So this is the show where we talk about how to do just that. I'm Maia Wilde, welcome to Dirt Road Less Travelled. Today, we are going to be talking about how to refresh ourselves after life has its way with us. I noticed some themes in my mid my work. I'm a life coach, and I talk to a lot of people and the past couple of weeks, I've talked to more people than usual. And it's so interesting, these themes just start to arise, you know, all things, something's just happening to me or just with this one client. And then I'll have a fifth conversation in a row, where the same theme comes up in this week's theme has been the experience a very human experience of being inside a life that seems to be working cyclically, or be happening in patterns. And I'm not talking the good, juicy, fun patterns. I'm talking the I thought I was over this illness. And here it is back again. I, you know, I talked to somebody this week, who even got a psychic reading who said your medical issues are over, they're done. And she's actually back in the issues. And she's trying to make sense of that trying to wrap her head around it. We make sense of things, right? That's part of what we do as humans, we're meaning makers. But she also like, I don't know that I have anything left to weather this storm again. And I thought it was over. And I was pinning my hopes on that, right. So it's that feeling of, you know, someone else came to me and said, I have been doing so well, financially, my business was really picking up very consistent new clientele consistent income, I was really feeling like this is it, I have finally changed my relationship to money. And guess what? Boom, went back and snapped right back to my old money stuff showed up again, like, again, again, for the again, for the against time. Right. And so that's the theme that has been coming up all week, as I've been talking to people of I thought I was over this, I decided I was going to be over it that this pattern was going to be done once and for all. And yet, here I am, back in it again. And so maybe you can take a look in your life and say, oh, yeah, I relate. Or maybe you can't, you know, or maybe you can't, because the patterns are so embedded in your experience of reality that you can't even see them clearly. That actually happens a lot. I think it's one of the reasons why people hire a life coach. I know it's one of the things that helped me so much. When I started working with a coach for the first time is Oh, somebody who can see me who is non judgmentally seeing me clearly and can kindly and encouragingly and supportively reflect the truth of me back to me, right? You know, because there are plenty of people in your life who are going to reflect your patterns back to you. And they're going to be mean about it, and you're going to feel like a loser. And you're not either going to want to hear it from them. Because they were just sort of awful in their presentation and judgmental, and, you know, you feel that bad vibe kind of thrown all over you. And also, because it's not helpful, it's that that that is not helpful, we need to be open right in order to receive that kind of constructive criticism. So to find somebody who's non judgmental, who won't trigger all of your ego stuff, right. And you know, you know what I mean? And so to be able to see those patterns, you might have them if if, let's say this, if your life situation, is showing you something that you don't like something unproductive is happening, there's probably I'm saying probably as a caveat, but I want I want to say, I'm sure that there's a pattern operating there. It's some kind of subconscious programming, or some series of steps that you're doing, that you're not even aware that you're doing that are just sort of second nature to you. So you do them over and over again, we all have our own inner formulas, right? When you think of a formula, I'm realizing this as I'm talking, when I think of a formula, I think of like a magic formula. Like, I'm gonna learn the exact formula that I can now replicate in my life to get love, or money or happiness, right. But actually, if you think about it, we have all of these flawed formulas that we're living by. I hadn't thought of it that way before that, because I have thought that formulas can't get us what we want, right? I mean, what works for you doesn't work for everybody. I mean, and that's why we're always looking for that quick solution. But what we're talking about here today on Dirt Road Less Travelled is how to get a refresh in the midst of this all whether you're living from a negative formula, or you can't see your formula or you've been following a formula, and it's not working for you the way it seems to be working for other people. Or perhaps, you know, there's formulas and patterns that occur and things are going really well. And sometimes we can't even see them. Sometimes only in retrospect, can you look back and go, Oh, yeah, I was thinking that. And then I was talking about this. And I was feeling a certain way. So I was doing these three things. And that led to this great result, right, so we can kind of reverse engineer it. You know, and sometimes when things are unnatural when we're naturally successful at things, it's kind of a smart, savvy move to look back and go, How did I realize that? You know, how did I accomplish that? So it doesn't feel like oh, it just fell out of the sky. And I don't know how to replicate it. So we're replicating. We're following patterns or internal formulas, right? For good or for bad? It, Who knows, right? So it depends. So you can look at the results. You're getting either you're getting great results, and you're going, I want to replicate this. There's a pattern here. What is it and reflect on that. And you know, when there's something positive happening, I've got a lot of great stuff happening in my life right now. I just wrapped up a group program Phoenix Rising, I have some new cool clients I'm working with I've got weird, interesting, cool things going on themselves, that makes me feel like close to cool. I feel I feel cool, because my clients are so interesting. And yet, I have woken up a couple of days this week and felt like wow, I could really use a refresher. So sometimes, you're working really hard, and you're doing a lot of great things, you got a lot going on, it's really positive. But you're you're you're flagging a little bit, right, you get a little tired. And then there's that the the real kind of dark side of it all, when you're being beaten down a little bit by the patterns that keep erupting in your life over and over again, whether it's sickness or relationship difficulties, or hard emotions just that you're experiencing on your own, like your anger. I have a client this week to like, wow, my anger, this anger just keeps coming back. And another person talking about this heaviness, you know, it keeps coming back. So maybe you're in a positive pattern, but you're feeling a little like I could still use an infusion of some kind, right? Or you're in a negative pattern. And not only would you like to break out of it, but you need a break. Right, you need a break. And I think too sometimes when we're going to break out of a negative pattern, we need to refuel. We definitely need to be able to rest by the roadside. I don't know did you read fairy tales growing up? I know my mom used to always read to us from these Italian fairy tales and from these Russian fairy tales, and I still have the very I think they're they're slightly shredded. It's not the entire volume of fairytales in either case anymore. But used always start like once upon a time there was a young prince named and we'd go, Ivan, because that was a Russian fairy tales. Or once upon a time there was a young princess named Ivan new Shah, right Russian fairy tales. And you start to see like, oh, what's the what's the you start to fall into the rhythm and the formula again of the fairy tale. And it was always about going out into the world and seeking your fortune. But of course, it's it's great to listen to but it's hard to do. And there was always an in or an innkeeper and they describe the food and the fireplace, you know, from 100 or a couple 100 years ago, the atmosphere of your A Wayfarer, you're a stranger on the road, and you're stopping at an inn you're out in the world seeking your fortune you've left behind your family and friends and all that you've known and you're going to do it on your own. And that feeling of respite, that feeling that's the feeling that I want us to explore today because that feeling of getting a great night's sleep of having a hearty warm meal, you know, you've been slogging you know, down the road, you're covered in mud, it's cold, you're closer damp. You know, you're hungry, your stomach hurts a little bit. You're feeling down and out. They stop at this in and they've got a great stew and there's a fire in the hearth and, you know, you're given some party ale to drink. And you sleep and maybe you know, maybe you get a spot in the stables but the hay is warm. Or you know, maybe you get a room at the end and you just because you've you've walked so many miles that day, you've slept you sleep, a really great sleep, and you wake up with new hope and a feeling of refreshment in the morning. And so that's that's the aim of today's dirt road less traveled is to give you that feeling of refresh, whether you're doing great and you could just use a boost or you're doing pretty bad and things are rough. And you need that respite and that refresh so that you can start maybe approaching your challenges from a new angle. This morning when I woke up it was It was a rainy day, and I had actually slept in. So I woke up with this feeling of refresh today. And my cat got into bed with me and I'd overslept. So it just felt very cozy. And I had to get up immediately and run around and do and do things. I've had a lot of meetings and calls today. But I gave myself just this 20 minute period of really steeping in that feeling of rainy morning. Time with my cat. I don't know what it is for you. Do you have a morning ritual, I do my Transcendental Meditation and then I write my morning pages. So I'm in bed for like an hour. I really am. I love it. i If you can do it, I recommend it. But I thought well, I've got this radio show today and I've been thinking about this theme of refreshing but also I was feeling a little bit of that pull to you know, sort of the subterranean space of slow movement or not a lot of movement right? And I thought what, what would be the approach to the show today and I thought let's do a music heavy show, not just two hours of talking. Let's just do some music. What would be some good music and the name Brandi Carlile came to me and I have never owned a Brandi Carlile album. Are you familiar with her? This woman has a voice on her. And she also does music that I feel captures the melancholy troublesome aspects of life as well as this way that she vocalizes and her songs she will transport you she just transcends to the heights. And that combination in her music, whenever I hear something, I'll be listening to Pandora right and her music will come on and always I catch my breath a little bit, you know, just catches me off guard startles me in this poetic way. And I thought, why don't I own any Brandi Carlile music. So I went ahead and bought an album. And we're going to be listening today to many songs from the story. And with an eye to that space of Where where are you snagged by a pattern? And where are you looking for refreshment, so that you can approach the pattern or your life or the project that you're in the midst of that you're a little stuck in or the vision that you see. But you're here you're on the other side of this pane of glass and you can't get to the vision. Or I'm working on this retreat that we're going to unveil in the summer. And we just hit this place of wow, we're in the middle, we're in the thick of it right. And it starts to feel complicated. You know, wherever you are, where you need a little refresh. But you want to acknowledge the space that you're really in whether it's joyful, or there's a pang of some kind. But also you're you're reaching for that bigger, brighter vision. And I think Brandi Carlile is the perfect accompaniment for that. And today, we're talking about finding refreshment in life, getting that refreshed, beautiful, renewed, rejuvenated, I can go on and thrive feeling happening. And I've been talking about how the pattern that are the theme that has arisen to this week in my conversations with people has been around patterns and getting kind of just caught back up and the same old pattern. And I don't know if you have you ever noticed it this way where you'll meet someone, and they'll they'll describe some aspect of their life. And it will always be that they date men who it turns out are already married. Or it'll be that they always just get a job offer. They never ever have to submit a resume anywhere. You know, they just Well, I don't know, I just seem to be lucky. I always just move it's like stepping stones from one one job to the next. It's been a great career, whatever it is, whether it's negative or positive, people have patterns. And I find it fascinating because when I've experienced my own patterns, and normally we're not we're not troubled at all by the great easygoing, positive patterns, right? But it's those patterns of why am I here? Again, what just happened? Why can I seem to break out of this? Why do I look around and other people aren't stuck in the same place or experiencing the same thing happening over and over again, what's going on? And so this is where we're going to go a little esoteric, a little into the what I call the energetics of it. There's this transpersonal psychology concept that talks about how whatever you're experiencing in your life is the out picturing of who you're being on the inside. Now, there's a couple of things that normally come up for people around that one. Like immediately we Do not want that responsibility, we immediately say that's not true things just happen. Okay? Maybe they sometimes do but play with this idea for a minute because it ultimately, is very liberating, because taking personal responsibility actually means that the Genesis the cause all comes from within you. So I like that idea. I also like the idea that I don't have to wait for something external to me to happen so that I can feel better inside. Do you know what I mean? Do you know where I'm going with this, this idea that, okay, when I finally get my house organized, or my money handled, or married, or this next promotion or this project is finished, then I will feel the relief, I'll feel happy, I'll feel fulfilled, it just doesn't. I mean, okay, that might happen. But at a certain point, you're just wishing the next two weeks away, or the next six months, or you're waiting, you're in this holding pattern, pattern, right. It's another kind of a pattern. And I mean, that's part of what I think is a huge flaw in the system of our culture is it teaches us that this outside in instead of the Inside Out approach to living, and the Inside Out approach, what's so great about it is that you start feeling good inside yourself, whether it's refreshed or fulfilled, or content, or focused, driven. What are some think of some words and ways of being that you'd like to be experiencing or that you've enjoyed experiencing in the past? That you're waiting on something external to you to happen so that you can feel that way? And then just flip that and say, No, I'm going to do whatever I need to today, right now, right? Now, I'm going to do whatever I need to right now, to feel the way that I've been longing to feel whether or not my ship comes in, right? Whether or not this event turns out the way that I'm hoping it will. And I mean, it's just you start to break down the the crusty old infrastructure of what we've been taught, it's almost like you're breaking rules, and it's bad and wrong, and you're going to get in trouble for doing this. That's the experience that I have inside myself. What do you mean, I can just be happy and enjoy. That can't be right, someone's going to find out that I'm doing that and I'm going to get in trouble. I'm going to get a smackdown. I remember I was looking for a cabin to live and I wanted a cottage or a cabin to live in somewhere in the Hudson Valley. And I wound up seeing a lot of great places and meeting a lot of interesting people. And one place that I looked at, I wound up in conversation with the man whose place it was, I don't know how this is just this is why I became a life coach. Alright, because people just talk to me, and I'll just talk to people. And then I hear the inside scoop. And then we're in this deep conversation. And so why not turn that into a career, right? So I don't know how we got on this topic. But he started talking about how his background was Eastern European Jewish. And he was saying that there was this experience in his family of don't be too happy. Like there was not permission from his grandparents who were concentration camp survivors, to be happy for no reason. You are not allowed to be happy go lucky, you're not allowed to be happy for no reason. And in fact, when there was a reason to be happy, you still weren't allowed to be all that happy because somebody would come in and I had a Czech grandmother, who would say like, oh, no, my Oh, like, you know, kind of, she'd cut me down before life would cut me down. And I don't know if that was something in her rage. To see this happy go lucky child living in the United States might have rankled and I can see why it would have. But why do we want to teach our children that there's a limit to happiness? Or why don't why do we want to live that way? You know, as I'm talking about this, I'm telling this story, and I hadn't thought to say it before it came out of my mouth. But then I'm remembering of course the movie Life is beautiful. Right? Or Viktor Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning, just to follow that theme of Eastern European or concentration camp war, right? Like the worst it can get. And yet there, there are always people who are continuing to insist on joy or laughter or freedom, internal freedom if there's no external freedom. Isn't that interesting? There's rule breakers in every generation, right? But most of us have to learn the lessons from scratch. That's, that's the way that I see it or have been experiencing it in this lifetime for myself. So I've meandered a little bit, maybe from my main point, but I think we went somewhere good with that, because it's this idea of what's the feeling that you want to be feeling when you start just feeling it without following the rules for how you're, how you're allowed to or how you're supposed to get to happiness or fulfillment or you have to achieve certain things. No, you can just feel it right now. Well, that just breaks the whole infrastructure and hierarchy really, right. That we've been given in our culture that existed before we were born. And we were indoctrinated into. Hmm. I like that a rebel move. I like the idea of a rebel move Do you like them? So I guess what we're talking about here, just to boil it down and throw some words at it is a personal revolution. If you want to feel refreshed, or you want to feel good, and nobody's giving you permission to and your life is not giving you permission you haven't achieved you haven't, you know, jumped through all the hoops, and you can do it anyway. I like that idea. Because today's theme again is refreshed. How can you feel refreshed so you can go back to your project or your hardship, maybe interrupt your hardship patterns, or maybe you just your back to fight another day, you know, so this idea of refreshment, or joy or maybe you choose maybe refreshed isn't quite the word for you today, maybe you want to find a different word. And then we can look around at our everyday reality because I think this is ultimately it right and I get this idea originally from Eckhart Tolle a 10 years ago, sitting after like us breakup of a six year relationship, and then sitting in my own little apartment in Bed Stuy, Brooklyn, feeling like I want to figure this out, I want to figure something out here. Kind of like what's the point of life for? I don't know, the big questions. I've always been interested in the big questions. But what, like, what makes this thing work life? I mean, what makes being human work for some people and not for other people? And why did I feel like sometimes it worked? And sometimes it didn't. And why did my six year relationship not work? But yet, then I took this amazing trip to Nicaragua, and I had this very peak experience, and that what creates a peak experience, what creates the slog effect in our lives, right, so I was I was taking on those kinds of questions in the aftermath of this breakup, and moving into my own apartment, living in my own space in the city. That's a great experience. And I hadn't really had much of that in the 10 years or so at that point that I've been living in the city. And so I don't know how I found the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle I, but I remember reading it, and just it was so over my head, I didn't understand what he was talking about. It's one of those books where you read a few sentences, and then you're like, let me sleep on that. Right. But he talked about this experience he had of just being suicidal and just depressed and just, I can't live like this anymore. And then he had some kind of a spiritual breakthrough, and spent the next two years just feeling great. And sitting around park benches feeling great. And he said that your life situation, which is right, your marriage, your money, your health, your body, all of that material reality stuff. He said, we pin so much on that. And we are trying to get to some kind of fulfillment, or even spiritual connection through that material stuff. And it just never works that way. But if you what was the there's a phrase he uses, there's your life situation, which is like the material realm. And then there was another phrase that I can't recall right off the top of my head, but it has to do with your inner self, your inner life, on a soul level, who you feel yourself to be. And he said, if you get that, right, if you connect to that, then you can still play the game out in the world and do whatever you want to move around the pieces of your life situation, but it won't impact who you believe yourself to be, or how you feel. And I thought that was I wanted that. And so since then, I mean, I've just been striving pretty endless, like relentlessly, but I find myself more and more, I would say that I'm like, consistently 50 to 60% in that mode, like feeling good. Whatever is happening in my life. I have very large breaks from that and like like big moments, I tend to be be like I am good, I'm good. I'm good, big moment of bad and then back to good. So your your your system, you know, might be a little bit different, your approach might be a little bit different. But this idea that we're playing with, like you could just feel refreshed right now. I like that idea. And so let's just hanging out with that and as we were talking about before that song Eckhart Tolle A says, and I've had the experience, have you had this overcoming uplifting experience that either it's sunny and beautiful, and you're feeling a little sad or melancholy, or it is rainy, and you're feeling the glory of being alive. So both of those are completely possible. So let's look at today's weather forecast. With that in mind that the weather is just the weather. We have our inner weather, there's our weather and we can respond however we choose and in fact that we have the capability of choosing and we're going to be talking about that A little bit more as we go on with the show today. You know what I noticed? When I travel, and I'm in Paris and it's raining, I just feel fine about it. I mean, I look, I only think the last time I was in Paris and it rained a lot and I want to go into the movies, you know, doing some things that were rainy day activities, but mainly I just walked around the city and drink, you know, coffee and smoke cigarettes i confess and a croissant sorry, the writers life the artists life in Paris or I remember as in Nicaragua for several weeks, and there were these torrential downpours every afternoon was the rainy season. And I had my umbrella, right, I had my umbrella, I had my all weather skirt on with all the zipper pop, you know, there's pockets for my passport, and my money and my flashlight and my all you know all the stuff that that travelers carry with them that people who live there just don't even own. So it's walking through at this bike around this lake of volcanic Lake outside of Granada, Nicaragua. And it was one of those afternoon rainstorms, and the skies opened up, and I pulled out my little travel umbrella. And I put it up over my head, and I passed a couple of men who were just cheerfully walking against sort of in the other direction like blah, blah, you know, talking to each other laughing, no umbrella, no rain gear, and I thought, let me try that. And I put my umbrella away. And I walked and I got I got rained on. And then the clouds cleared, the sun came out beautiful central American heat, and I dried right up, I was wearing my you know, special travelers skirt, whatever, right? So it made it easier. But you know, it was a great experience, actually, because I got to experience the weather. And I think so often. I feel like in our culture, there's this resistance to experiencing the weather. This retreat that I'm planning for July, we don't know what the weather's going to be. And we've got a big hike planned and then a farm tour planned and a night of a bonfire. And we're going to be under an awning doing like a paint and sip. And, you know, we've just got this these ideas that are really about what's the experience of being in the Catskills and being outside in the middle of the summer. And you know, of course, people are saying, well, what if it rains, or I hope it rains. I hope it rains, because we don't have enough opportunities in life, the way that we live as schoolchildren or as trying to, you know, dress right and go to church or to the office, we don't spend enough time caught in rainstorms. And so maybe this weekend, maybe that's a goal of yours. So here's that invitation to all of us to let the weather do what it will let our inner weather do what it will. And there's always aren't. They're always two elements. I was talking to a client this week, she was saying, she's like, I have this beautiful sense of uplift. And I recorded a new song. And then that voice in the back of my head comes in, like what are you doing? It doesn't mean anything anyway, your mother just died, right? All of that stuff. And she's just trying to begin to contain the paradox and the contradiction. And isn't that really what we're doing in life? aren't aren't your peak moments. I remember again, I was in Paris, and I wanted to go up on this ferris wheel at the bottom of the Chantilly say, right? I'm like, wow, but I really could use a restroom right about now. I thought Nope. This is the moment this is that you're getting you're getting in the thing. It's now. And so there was this, this really interesting. I don't know. It's not like a tension right? Between this glorious experience of me terrified of heights. I don't do Ferris wheels at the local fair. You can't make me I hate them. But I went up in Paris alone in the bucket. And looked at this city of Paris laid out before me the lights were coming on. It was evening, it was dusk. And I felt like I was inside the map. Right? So I just rose above my fear of heights, landed inside this glorious experience, and just had that interesting tension of who I could really use a restroom to. But I'm going to be here in this experience right now. And so isn't that usually the contradiction, the paradox that we're asked to embody and be inside of simultaneously in life? I think that's the human experience, right? It's not all perfect, not all just one way or the other. And so, my invitation to you today is to find the refresh, that refreshment. That moment of refreshing, like, Ah, I've got this, I'm okay. I'm good. Despite all of it all of the mess. Or despite not seeing the end or feeling overworked or a little bit crazy. It's that kind of creative tension in living in living that we're exploring today. Hey, Maya, I am excited to announce my Wiles prescription for a personal revolution. And that's a fancy way of saying that I've got some cool new mechanisms for you to get out of your own way in life and start expressing the hell out of your true self. Come over to my wild.thinkific.com You can take my free life on fire self assessment quiz, because you need to know where you are. Figure out where you're gonna go next. You can join my private Facebook group wild women on a cosmic mission and a few bold men where you get to meet and hang out with like minded people as your real self. And I've also got a guided meditation on lighting your inner fire along with some journal prompts. There's a new masterclass to set your life on fire the three keys to ignite your life. It's available also at Maia wilde.thinkific.com, you do not have to walk this road of life alone, and you definitely do not have to stay stuck. So click the link in the show notes or just go to Maia Wilde duck thinkific.com. And if you enjoy this podcast, make sure you subscribe, share it far and wide. And leave a review on Apple podcasts. I love hearing your experience of the show. And I love having you as a listener to this podcast. We're talking today about finding the refreshment in the midst of a crazy life in the midst of the world that we all live in, in the midst of life throwing a wrench in the works, which happens to all of us. And that's one thing I've been really contemplating lately, I think a part of refreshment, I think that there's two approaches, I'm going to share two very black and white, very distinct ends of the spectrum ideas for you to consider taking on if you're feeling like you need refreshment, or you keep falling back into the same old pattern or you keep landing in the same place. And you don't know how you got there. And it's not great, right? Or it's pretty good. But how do you get to the next level? How do you get to the place that you can visualize? I've been thinking a lot recently about myself in these moments. And I see it too, with clients, right? So if I'm coaching someone, and they are so in their own perspective, they can't see where there's a side door, or we're up, there's a window over here, I can open you can go that way or, you know, creative ideas for career or love or healing, whatever it is that the person is looking to change in their life. And that's that is also true for me. And I've been starting to think of myself as Right. Like, you know, I said this earlier that if you've got your vision, it's over there. It's like you can see it through a pane of glass. But you're on this side of the glass, you don't know how to get there. How do you get there? How do you bridge that gap between where you are and the vision that you can see for yourself? And I've started to think of myself as like the fly buzzing against the window and you're going do there's a you can just you just came in this other way, right? The door is still open to the kitchen, why are you buzzing against the glass? And I started to look at myself like, wow, okay, I'm the fly buzzing against the pane of glass, seeing my future, my beautiful future. It's right there, I can see it. Right, it's beautiful view. But I can't get there because I keep smashing up against this invisible barrier. And I think that that's true for all of us. So the game that I like to play. And I'm going to share two opposite ends of the spectrum approaches that you can take that you can go play with and see what results you get. So here's the the attitude that I think we need to approach those kinds of scenarios with, right when you can't see clearly and you keep whining back in the same space and you don't know how you got there. And you're like that fly buzzing against a window trying to go straight when actually you're not paying any attention. But the doors open right behind you. So for me that like the shift to, you know, what we call in the coaching industry, a breakthrough comes from just going there has to be a creative solution to this, that I'm not seeing, like I'm just not seeing it. I'm going in this one direction, maybe there's a completely different direction I can go and what am I not doing right? You start to open up when you when you present it to yourself that way of there has to be a creative solution to this. There has to be I'm not seeing it. But I'm going to trust that it's here that it's available to me. Someone has it all figured out in the shower later, right? Just you start to open yourself up to being receptive to new ideas. That is huge. That's huge. I mean, I don't know where in your life you're exploring creativity. But it doesn't mean that you have to be making art to be experiencing the creative process and the unfolding of like how things how things unfold. I heard this term unfoldment last week for the first time. So the unfoldment, right, you can be a parent, and you see how things unfold in parenthood as your children grow. You can see how things unfold in a garden or learning a new skill like learning how to cook there's usually mess along the way. First of all, which is reassuring, it's not just you, right? It's all of us. So trusting that there's this creative unfoldment that's occurring in your life and becoming receptive to inspiration and to creative solutions. and unseen solutions is really the first step opening up opening up your receptors to the possibility that there's another way that this can go down, or another way that you can be. And then I offer these two approaches. If you're really just like cycling back again and again like up here we are again up. Yep, I remember this and you're not getting to that next level. Whether it's putting your art out there, you know, getting a film that you've created into a festival or, you know, getting your your you're a singer and you're looking to get your vocals to the next level and you write or you're stuck writing a song, or you're a chef, I just read Julia Child's autobiography. Oh, that was so good. I'd seen the movie recently. Can you believe it took me this long to see it. I have misophonia I can't even say the word without giving myself the heebie jeebies. It's this. I'm really sensitive. I hate the sound of people eating. Okay. And so somebody said to me, Oh, you can never watch the Julie and Julia movie because the way that they eat in that movie, you just wouldn't be able to handle it. So what 15 years went by how many years? It was out? When did it come out a long, long, long time went by since that movie first came out. And a few weeks ago, my boyfriend said we need to watch this movie, you will like it. Take my word for it. Oh, it was so delightful. And then my mom had a copy of Julia's Julia Child's autobiography. Oh, I just drank that in. But she shares talk about someone who's got a great attitude to life and a way to find refreshment. She shares so heartily of her experiences and the mess and the disasters. And so it's not just you, it's not just me, that's part of the unfoldment of life and the creative process birth, death, right? Money, love. It's messy. So know that and then know that you need to be receptive, right? Like, oh, how can I be receptive, it can be a little scary. It can feel a little ungrounded. Also, we can get very identified with Well, I do things a certain way. No, you're going to have to give that up. Because the creative solutions come to those of us who are willing to be a little risky. Take those risks. Remember, we talked about personal revolution earlier in the show today? Yes. Okay, here's my two opposite ends of the spectrum approaches to if you're stuck, or just not getting the results that you want. One is to go deep. Like really go inside yourself and go ask the questions, right, like ask the big questions. Why? Why? Why is a very good question. Actually. It's irritating when you have a three year old in the house is asking why about everything. But that's actually what's required. Like to be to be that open to be that interested in curious but why? How come how explain this to me, right? That three year old relentlessness of why? It's a great place to be to go deep inside yourself. Why do I keep feeling this way? Why do I keep winding up here? When's the first time I can remember feeling this way. And then trusting the unfoldment of your inner process showing you what you need to say. So I had a client last week. Yeah, it was last week she came in. And we'll I actually only talked to people on the phone. So she came to the call. And she sounded really heavy. And that had happened one time before. We've talked seven times now. So normally, she's very upbeat. And so I was like, What is this? What's going on? So this is reminding me of like a month and a half ago, when you came to a call. You sound heavy. She said I feel heavy. And I said when is the first time you can remember feeling this heaviness. And she was immediately five years old. And talking about her childhood experience and how there was a lot of rage in the house and her father worked the swing shifts. So the kids had to be very, very quiet during the day when they would naturally be very active, or there were repercussions. And her mother felt very victimized by her life circumstance. And so this little girl who's now my client, 50 years later, felt like she was carrying the emotions of that household. Right? That's how a lot of us become overcomers. Right? We just pick up where the grown ups have left off. We're five and you know, alright, fine, I'll take it on. And so we went deep into that, the story of her childhood, the physical experience of carrying that kind of emotion. We looked at some of her life path design, which is very interesting. We looked into some numerology. Yes, lo and behold, she's someone who gives her power away. And who has that as an obstacle to overcome in this lifetime like, Okay, how do I not give so much away that I bury my own light, right? And she's in the process of going through a divorce. And one of her complaints about the marriage of 15 years was I have dimmed myself so down, and I think I might have been talking about her on up show two weeks ago, very likely very possible. Because it's such a it's just such a an illustrative, illustrative, how am I saying that? It illustrates this concept so cleanly. This idea of, she got programmed in childhood, and now showing up in her marriage 50 years later of, she's dimming herself down so that she can make her husband comfortable. But then she's not living her life the way that she wants to. And she's got this secret anger. That's a pattern, right? So we went very, very deep. We were looking at this heaviness that she came to the call, she wanted to be working on her business, she has great vision, she has a lot of enthusiasm, and she couldn't do it. She couldn't get out of the mire. So we went deep. We went back to her childhood, we did some investigation into her, her human designs. Not this is not a specific human design, the numerology, but it's an element of it's, for lack of a better phrase, that's the phrase, right? How are you made, you know, and then we had another call, yesterday or the day before and she was back, she had a lot more clarity, because she now has some tools to heal, because now she's aware that there's something she needs to take on and heal. From her childhood, she's very clear that she needs to leave the marriage that has felt very clear for the past month or so. unwaveringly clear even though she feels melancholy, and she's got some sadness mixed in, again, the paradox, the contradiction, right? How can we embody all of that that's part of it part of succeeding at this life thing. But so that's one way you go all the way and you go so, so deep, and you can do this yourself just sitting at home, right, falling asleep at night, in the bath, driving down the road, you can really just do this, you start to get curious and do that personal inquiry. You also can go to somebody who can do that, obviously, I do this kind of work. But there are a lot of people who can be a compassionate enlightened listener for you and help you do that inquiry, and go deep. Now, for those of us who are so deep all the time, that it's too much, I have another client who's like that, and I'm like, we're not talking about this anymore. You need to take some actions, you need to do a Facebook post, or send a newsletter or something about your new business opportunity that you're offering people to participate in. And you have to go out there, and you have to talk about the fact that you are actively involved in the kink world. I have a client who's who's who's a life coach, and also looking to be public with the fact that she's also privately a kink coach. And so she's scared. I get it. But you know what, there's no more processing that we need to do. We, we she was a client of mine three years ago, and she's been doing her own thing for a few years. She came back to me recently, and we're working together again. And she's ready, right? So it's like, she's ready. But she's scared. But there's no more processing or personal inquiry or excavate. She's been doing that she is a star at that. So some of us are made like that. I'm that person. I'm like, the deep coach, people have called me that you're the deep coach. But what I've realized is you can't just be going deep in that subterranean place. You can't just be there because we live here, right? You want to get results here. So you need the strategy. You need the tools, you need to take action. So you're going to look at yourself and go, Wow, I never really this is my boyfriend. He's not here so I can talk about him. He doesn't really naturally go deep. He's an action taker. He's like, I'm fine. No biggie. I'm cheerful, relentless optimism this man has. It's maddening to somebody like me who's like, Let's go deep. I just want to feel all the emotions. He's like, Oh, let's not feel any emotions. Let's go do something right, you know. So you need to look at where you tend and then do the opposite. Because if you're stuck doing the opposite is where you're going to find a breakthrough, where you're going to you're that fly buzzing against the closed window like, but I can see my great life out there. And then you're going to go Wait, there's got to be a creative solution. Oh, I always just take action. I'm relentlessly like buzzing against the window. Or I'm always just like sitting at the window because you see those flies too, right? Just like sitting there subdued. You're like, are you meditating, right? Like the personal inquiry fly versus the action taking fly, but neither of them is getting anywhere. So whichever one you are, then you're like, Okay, I'm an action taking fly. I'm going to turn around and fly in the other direction. Or I'm going to subdue, and stay here and go deep and do a little personal excavation. Ah, have a revelation. Oh, look, there's a way out over there. Right? If you're the subdued, meditative fly, and you're stuck at the windowsill, too. You've given it up a little bit. You're like, I'm just going to sit here and write in my journal. Then you're going to take action fly in different direction. So those are two of my tools plus an attitude adjustment of, Hmm, let me be receptive to creative solutions here, right? That I offer you, if you're falling into the old patterns that you've always fallen into a feeling or doing or if you're just not getting the really awesome results that you can see for yourself that you know, are possible that you see other people getting. So that's what I offer you to play with today. Today, we're talking about how to get refreshed in the midst of a life where he might be feeling a little melancholy, or maybe the weather is not great. Or maybe the outer weather is great, but your inner weather is a little bit complex. Or perhaps you're just removed from your inner weather. And, you know, I've heard stories about when I first started studying Transcendental Meditation, I remember one story, my teacher told me about someone who came to him after starting to meditate and said, I didn't realize this, but I had always had a low grade headache. He had no idea until he started meditating regularly and his headache went away. And then he could feel himself without the headache. And that sounds crazy, right? But we all have some version of that. And that's because we're so close to ourselves. And you know, I was talking earlier in the show about a certain it could be a heritage that you have, you know, my background is Eastern Europe. I actually had this fantastic dream last night. Do you ever have dreams, we're talking about patterns, right as well. So I have these dreams that repeat. And I never want them to go away. Because it feels like, I don't know, astral travel, I feel like I was there. I was in the city of Prague last night. And I remember inside the dream telling somebody in the dream. Oh, I have dreams about Prague. I also remember saying, Do you not get it? Yeah, there's the tram wires overhead. But you see sky here. When you live in New York City with all the skyscrapers, you don't see sky. I was very emphatic with someone I was meeting in my dream about Prague. But I was telling them I dream about the city a lot. And of course, it was a dream. But it was very vivid, right? And so it's just such a haunting, gorgeous city. But my Eastern European background, there's a certain heaviness and a certain constraint on how much happiness you're supposed to be feeling. And so we don't even see our own patterns, right. So I am carrying this feeling. And I've started to, I don't know, I hate this phrase, when we use it, it's coming to me unpack it, right, you know, like, we can really start to unpack our old emotional baggage and heal this stuff, it's really kind of awesome to see that when you start to pay attention to things that you've just taken for granted as are part of you and who you are, and it runs in your family. And this is just how you feel you don't even really notice it, because you're so close to it. Like this man who didn't even realize he had headaches until they went away. But we all have some version of that. Right? So what's your version of that? Where are you? Maybe if you were to sit still with yourself? And actually take a moment? Where are you carrying something that you could let go of? And where are you carrying something that isn't yours to carry? I had a client a couple of weeks ago who had horrible back pain and we really looked at it like okay, yes, you are over exerting yourself, you need to get a massage, maybe go to the chiropractor? Absolutely. And might there be a symbolic meaning here for you to? And the answer was very obvious, and we both knew it. It was sort of boringly glaringly obvious, she does a lot of the emotional heavy lifting for everybody in her life. And we went back to her earlier, she did the same thing. They're so having her back out, because of all she'd been carrying. She'd been literally moving a relative, like, moving her relative from one house to the next. Right, as well as bringing up all of the emotional stuff in the relationship she was in. She wanted a more emotionally connected relationship. Her partner never brought anything up. So she was bringing up all of her needs and desires. And she was saying, I just want somebody who will talk to me at the end of the day about what happened in their day. She said I don't care who like short, fat, tall, thin old man, woman, I don't care who this person is. I don't fall in love with a gender or physicality. I fall in love with the person, the soul and the interaction that we have. And I was like, Okay, great. Well, let's find you that right but she needs to finish up this relationship she's in right now. But getting this back pain, which was incapacitating for her wasn't like her back was a little sore. drew her attention to Okay wait, what's the message here? What's not working? Why am I doing it like this? Oh, cuz I've always done it like this. Oh, cuz I'm just used to doing the carrying the emotional heavy. lifting. And so this is one of those moments where you want somebody who can go in deep with you right and help you see what your patterns are. But you can also just do it with yourself. Eckhart Tolle and the power of now is actually the first place that I really started to understand the process of how to do that. And he talks about awareness, that might not be his word, it's my word, I actually designed a meditation called the tool of awareness based on the practices that I was doing from his writings. But it's this idea of you can just sit quietly with yourself and feel your way into what you're feeling. A lot of feeling, right, it's but it's really like awareness and feeling. Feeling something and then awareness of it. And it really is an excavation, like, okay, oh, I'm feeling this feeling. Hmm. Is it the weather? Maybe it is? Did somebody just walk by me on the street, and I'm carrying for them? Because that happens, right? People have vibes and we pick them up. Not that we talk about that in our culture, but we do. And just to people to get a sense of what's this part of me that I'm carrying with me, that is invisible to me, getting curious about that, and then being willing to sit with it a little bit, maybe put on some music, maybe move dance, go for a walk? Again, in bed at night, as you're falling asleep is great. Going outside, I don't know where you are in the world right now. But if you're local, yeah, it's gonna rain a little this weekend, but it's gonna be nice still, to sit outside, maybe get rained down a little bit, have a moment. Let me get to know myself more. We're so freaked out by that, aren't we, we're so freaked out by that. But that's where all the knowledge is. That's where the information is. And that's where the healing is. So that's where you get your vision for what you want to do. That's where you dissolve any of the obstacles that are holding you back from reaching your vision. And that's also where the refreshment is. Bec ause when you listen to the parts of yourself that you've been ignoring, they have to, they stop clamoring for your attention, because right now they do have to keep clamoring for your attention, like a baby crying in the other and go pick up the baby, go get the baby hold the baby. I always feel that way. When I hear a crying baby, go get the I will take the baby, right? And that's probably metaphorically too for me like, Okay, what's your problem? Bring it to me, I will hear it, I will feel it, I will help you with this. I want to say this. If you're feeling some feelings that are a little bit itchy, scratchy, uncomfortable, you want to avoid them. You're afraid of what you're going to find. Don't be, don't be afraid of what you're going to find. I have been doing this kind of personal inquiry work with myself for decades. And with clients for a long time, I was a domestic violence counselor and a rape crisis counselor, and a counselor for juvenile delinquents back in my early 20s. And so I started there, I didn't know I was going to be a life coach, that wasn't a plan. I wanted to be a movie star. Isn't life fun? Yeah. So I but I always was drawn to this kind of work people or people will say like, Oh, I could never talk down. I love talking to people about the deep dark stuff. And so even in my early 20s, that's work that I was doing. And I was helping people, facilitating people with that inner dialogue, right. And so now that's what I'm doing as a professional business. And I do it with myself, too. I'm also a writer. So when you're trying to get like, if you're an artist of any kind, or, you know, whatever you're looking to get a creative solution to or inspiration to, you know, you start to see, right you have to you have to delve into the depths. And so, permission to do that, and not to worry about what you're going to find. We are always so worried about what we're going to find. And that stops us from doing that kind of personal inquiry work. That's deep level stuff that's actually going to get you the results that you want. Because here's the truth. If you can change the way that you feel inside yourself, if you can excavate your inner terrain, you will show up completely new and refreshed out in the world. You're going to start doing things differently. You're going to have a different attitude. You're going to relate to people and life and yourself, your body, everything food, money, all of it completely differently. And guess what, you're going to get new results. And that is really freaking cool. Because we all want new results. There's no that there's no end to us wanting new results. You might really be content with your life. But at a certain point, you're going to want more contentment, you're going to want a hot cup of tea, right? We all have different desires. I remember being at this death Cafe years ago, and it was this decadent, beautiful experience with very nice, classy high end fruit salad and cupcakes, frosted cupcakes, was just so luxurious and There were probably 2025 people in the room at different tables. And we talked about death and dying. And there was a couple at my table in their 60s. And at one point, I felt personally attacked by her. When I was saying, just, you know, in my own, like, speaking without thinking, personal style that I have, I was saying, like, oh, but you know, to live life to the fullest, and really live your best life. And, you know, I was like, a newbie life coach at the time. And just like, because then, you know, I just moved out of New York City, the Hudson Valley. So I just feeling the all of the epic delight of having my own car for the first time in 15 years and driving stick shift in the mountains and hiking and just the glory of it and feeling like and I just spent a lot of time in Central America, and just the passion that I have for living. And she said, Well, what did she say? Let me see if I can remember it. Exactly. Sometimes I can get it. Now, I'm just going to remember that I just remember the, like the vibe of it. She said something like, well, but I mean, sometimes we just need to be happy with what we have. And I thought, Who are you, you don't even know me, you you you be happy with what you have. I'm happy with what I have, which is a life full of vitality, passion and adventure. And I remember feeling really shut down in that moment. Like what she basically gave me a talking to at this public discussion. I was probably the youngest person at the table. I don't know I looked younger than my age then. So who knows? Right? In the moment, I was really kind of startled. Then her husband starts talking and I realize he's like me. He was like me. And they clearly had been in some kind of a conflict for decades around whose approach to life was going to win. His big epic out there in the public, very exuberant, extroverted, right? Always seeking or her like, I want to have a quiet life experience. That was what she wanted. But she felt like she had to be in conflict with someone like me because she was in conflict inside her marriage. Right. And I am a huge fan of figuring out who you really are, and what you really want, and giving yourself that. And when you do that, if you're if your goal is I want quiet contentment. I want to read I want to quietly write, maybe I'll watch a nice arthouse film. Maybe I'll go for a walk. After everybody is finished walking their dogs. I'm going to take a quiet stroll alone not talk to anyone. That is something that you can still want more of. Right? The same thing for an adventure. If you want to be out there skydiving. People will say things to you like okay, you've already skydive. Isn't that enough? No, you want more? Right? So we always are going to find that next edge of desiring more. That's life. It's this unending expansion. We live in an expanding universe. We are part of an expanding universe. We are being pulled our our cells, our biology, we're being energetically pulled in all of these directions as the universe expands. Can you feel that for yourself? Wherever expanding? And so you're always going to want more if it's quiet, or if it's noisy boisterousness? And so permission to let yourself want more, and to live at that expanding edge. I have no idea where I was going with this thought. Are you looking for an energetic, inspiring, knowledgeable wisdom and insight generating mesmerizing speaker for your club, group team or mastermind, that those are not my words. Those are snippets of testimonials from people who have attended my talks. If you're looking for a speaker, to galvanize your people into action to break through life's general malaise and the ruts we'll get into and even the fear and anxiety and depression that's running so rampant in the world today so that your audience actually has the lived transformational experience of connection, a sense of belonging and laugh their ass off at the absurdities of being human book me to speak at your event. My most popular talks are Driving the Dirt Road Less Travelled with a no regrets life as your Wild Free Self, which is a talk designed to motivate listeners to stop waiting for their real life to begin and to feel excited to get out of bed in the morning today. Heal old emotional baggage. Reclaim your fabulous intuitive self and uncover your true motivations. So you stopped falling off the wagon all while embracing the glorious mystery of being alive so you can finally express the hell out of your true self on this crazy ride we call life or you could go for This Is Not a Rehearsal a crash course and claiming the life you were meant to live where participants walk away knowing improvisation techniques for real life situations, create fewer regrets and recover fast when you didn't handle it the way you wish you had quick tricks for discovering your life's purpose and finding your tribe waste less time on people, places and things that are not right for you. And that laughter really is the best medicine, no more crying over your life situation, but instead happily embracing the absurd and laughing your way right through this lifetime and into the next one, or you gonna invite me in for a channeled event created exclusively for your people book me at Maia.Wilde.com, or by emailing me directly at Maia@Maia.wilde.com, where you can request my speaker sheet, media packet, or to reserve your next level Self Realization event where the talk is deep, but never happy. That's Maiawilde.com, or email me directly at Maia@maiawilde.com And today, we've been talking about how to refresh yourself in this crazy world. And even if you're working on projects that you love, and you're really getting yourself to this vision, you know, sometimes we wear ourselves out, and we can get stuck and not see a creative solution. Because we've been trying too hard pushing too hard, using force instead of opening up that receptivity to inspiration, which is where all of the genius solutions and answers come from, right? I mean, think about some experiences in your life you've had where you don't know how you got that idea. Where did that inspired solution or idea? Brainstorm that brilliant inspiration? Where did it come from? I don't know, the ether, right? I mean, it's a mystery. But we love that mystery, right? But we can also start to understand the mystery, even if we don't understand all of it, right? The whole the whole context of the mystery of our existence, we can understand how it works a little bit. And I think that that's what's really cool about that reverse engineering, how did I get to this brilliant solution? Or how did this other person invent this thing? Or solve this problem? Or realize a dream vision that they had for their life? What were the components? The the mechanisms, the mechanics, right, of how they made that happened? And then of course, we can also apply it to the bad stuff. How did I wind up here again? Right. And so as we talk about refreshment, today, we're also talking about patterns. Because how do you know when you need a refresher? Well, you can just feel it sometimes. And you don't have to have a reason. I'd like to say that to you, you don't have to have a reason to need a refresher. You can just need one, and you can just want one, and you can go get one. And I mean that again, also goes against all of the cultural programming and rules like Have you earned this break? No, I haven't. And I'm taking it anyway. And I like that act of personal revolution. Because also, you know who's in charge, nobody's in charge. Nobody's in charge. I mean, we really were so indoctrinated into this idea that somebody else is ahead of us, and somebody else is in charge of us, and they know better. But what if you know better, I mean, that's the whole concept behind dirt road less traveled, it's getting you connected to your inner compass to your inner guides, or if you want to get spiritual, which I always like to do, what if you have spiritual guides, to your spiritual guidance system to your inner guidance system. And for most of us, we were not trained in listening to our intuition. We were not trained in trusting the unfoldment of the creative process in life, and other projects. And we were taught that there are rules and formulas and you need to look around you constantly and assess what other people are doing, doing, and worry about what they're thinking about you. That is a useless way to live. And so we're here to fix all that. That's, that's my just small goal here with dirt road less traveled. But yeah, getting you connected to your inner compass, and sensing, I want a break, I'm ready. I want a refresher. I'm going to take it for myself. I think that's awesome. And also you get to decide when there's a pattern that you'd like to break free from. And I'm thinking of a client of mine. She was a young woman, she actually recently turned 25. We've been working together for two years, just over two years. And she grew up in New York State. She went to college at a great college in New York state a couple of hours, maybe not even that far from where she grew up. And then she was working and living after college in that same area. And strange things kept happening to her. She would meet somebody they'd be dating and then he'd break up with her very abruptly that happened I think well no, you know what that happened twice. But the other relationships she realized I can't this is not for me and she did I think in a very kind conscious way but she broke up with this person. And then she hated her job it was great job to if I told you who she worked for. You'd be like all take that job like it's Sounds so sexy and the status of it and like, you know, the travel and the people you hobnob with and just, ah, sounded great. It was really wretched. And she was miserable. And she just felt like I can't stay in this job. But I'm scared to leave because it's a great job and money. And what else am I going to do? I can't see what's next. And then she had this, like, come to Jesus moment with herself. We were between sessions. And she was planning on giving her notice. So I didn't know what was happening. But she was she told me in our next session, she said, I almost couldn't do it, I was so scared to go to my bully boss and tell her that I was giving my notice that I almost didn't do it. And then I was out walking. This is one of those moments that I'm saying, right? The breakthrough refresher moments where you like, Come home to yourself, she gave herself one of those, because she was working with me and I was making her it was her homework, you know, you got to go walk, you gotta go. You gotta have a moment with yourself. Because I know the magic that's available to all of us in those moments. But I digress from my story. So she was having one of those moments. And she had this sense of what if I don't quit this job, because I'm scared. And my whole life at 25 is built on I couldn't quit this job. And that I'm just not a I'm not the kind of person who can quit a job and go after what she really wants in life, what if that's who I really am. And she just hide herself back to the office and gave her notice, shaking awkwardly, uncomfortably, did it. And so what I'm sharing all of this because I want to showcase to you there was a pattern, there was an underlying pattern here. And she started to get this message. But it took a couple of years for it to really come through clear. And I kept reflecting it back to her because we always need outside eyes, right? We can't see ourselves clearly. So she kept getting broken up with and she's finally in a relationship. He wants to be in it. She just is like, this is not for me. horrible feeling job. But it looks great. She has to quit. She wants to be the person who can move on her life. Then she has a horrible roommate situation. So she goes through this whole process of really trying to get new great roommates. They were addicts it the next experience totally tanked, got so much worse. So she finds another place to live. She moves in with someone who looks great, who it turns out is basically nuts. And in the middle of the night is like pounding on the wall crying and he's got this big drama and she's in her room going I don't this guy seems unstable, and I don't understand what's happening. And she left and went to her mom's. And she kept wanting to make it work. In this area where she'd grown up and gone to college and was now living. She tried so hard. Is that you in some area of your life? Do you have a situation you're the fly buzzing against the Close Window, but I can see it from here, refusing to turn around and look to the left or the right or behind you and see if there's another mode of egress. Right? Or is that you because that's us in every week? We all have that. So this is where there's a pattern that you need to take a moment of refreshment and have a breakthrough in your pattern because she I said to her I think you're getting kicked out. I think you're getting kicked out. She was living in the Hudson Valley. I think you're getting kicked out of the Hudson Valley. And then there oh my goodness. I'm remember even more dramas. Yeah, there was a local hangout place that she loved to go to. And then she felt the cold shoulder when she went there all of a sudden. And then it turned out two years later that she wasn't crazy that somebody had spread a horrible rumor about her I mean, ridiculous stuff. And this is not a gossipy. You might be thinking like well, she's young. No, no, this is an old soul very mature together. hardworking person. Really just wise beyond her years mature ready to have a conversation communicate clearly question if she was in the wrong take personal responsibility. And so all of this and crazy drama kept erupting. Like yeah, like I said, breakups firing Well, she wasn't fired, but like she was then given the cold shoulder at her social hangout that she quit her job, just all of the stuff, crazy roommates, all this bad, bad stuff. So now she's living at home and she's going wait a second, and I'm saying I think are you really it's like a year later, right? And I'm like, Are you ready to acknowledge that maybe you're getting a message from the great beyond that you need to go? She was like, yeah, like one final major heartbreak happened. She's like, okay, she had almost stopped working with me like, I'm great. Everything's great. All right. See, the chase texted me a week later. He broke up with me. Can we make our next check in call like the first session, I'm going to rebook with you for a few months. And I said, Absolutely. And at that point, she had nothing to lose because she'd lost it all. And she was like, okay, I can see as I sit here in meditative silence with myself, that the messages maybe I'm not supposed to be here, guess what, she finally got it together and it was processed. So let yourself keep keep room for the process. She, over several months, was doing a bunch of internships in the area. And then she wound up finding a graduate program in California, and I don't hear from her for like a month, I'm like, hello, what's going on ov r there. She's like, I'm in lov She sends me all these videos, she's got a brand new love. She's, she just everything worked out for her, she'd lost a dog, there's a new dog in the situation. And she's just like, I can't believe I didn't make this break sooner. So I share that story with you. Because that is available for you too. There's a pattern that's happening in your life, you're getting messages of some kind, you need to tune into your inner compass to hear what those messages are, maybe get somebody outside of you, who can read that kind of a scenario, who's kind of like a pattern seer, which is a big part of the work that I do. And so find somebody who can do that, because we can't do it for ourselves usually, right? Maybe you have a moment of clarity. But why rely on your own, like, you know, you're you're standing inside it, you're the fly buzzing against the window. But no. So there's a pattern. If you take a moment, have a refresher, you don't need to earn it, you're going to have an inspiration there. And I don't know if I can sum this up perfectly. There's patterns, you're allowed to break them. You can refresh yourself and refresh your whole life when you do that. And there's always messages inherent in the patterns. It might be like, Oh, I'm looking in the wrong direction. I'm not seeing the help. That's right in front of me, the the collaborator who's right here or the lover who's right here, right, the money that's right here, the health solution that's right here, if I just actually called the person who signed I keep seeing I might heal myself, right. There's something right here available to you. So when you take a moment of refreshment, usually you can see more clearly feel more clearly. And you might wind up dissolving some of your old baggage that's holding you back those old those inner obstacles that we all have. What's the Dirt Road Less Travelled? It's owning the unexpected adventure of your life. Yeah, you're covered in mud, no map in hand, but you feel so alive. Like your life has real meaning, and you're absolutely on the right path. You've been listening to Dirt Road Less Travelled. If you like what you hear, share an episode with a friend or share many episodes with several of your friends and make sure that you hit subscribe. And if you want to find out how to connect what we talked about on the show to your own life. Check out what's happening at MaiaWilde.com, the conversation over there is all about how to live like you're on a mission and what's that mission? Doing life as the real you living on purpose, healing all the old being able to envision the new and of course expressing the hell out of yourself. That's MaiaWilde.com. I'm Maia Wilde. This is Dirt Road Less Travelled. Until next time, stay true to yourself out there.